Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Tulsie v. Democracy

Democracy: What is the job of reporter/journalist?

Tulsie: To get Thaksin.

Democracy: Isn't the job of a journalist to report the truth in a democratic society so that a free people have information so that they know what they politicians are doing so in order to make educated political decisions, good, bad, or indifferent?

Tulsie: No, my role is to destroy Thaksin, whatever it takes, political freedom be damned.

Democracy: So personal vendettas supersede the role of a free press in a democratic society?

Tulsie: There is no such thing as a free press. My job is to tell you what to think. If you don't agree with me, Thaksin paid you.

Democracy: How open-minded of you.

Tulsie: You mocking me?

Democracy: Yes.

Tulsie: You must be paid by Thaksin.

Democracy: Do people who don't agree with you have the right to vote?

Tulsie: No, because Thaksin buys all the votes.

Democracy: Do you have any evidence?

Tulsie: No, I don't need any evidence. I work for The Nation. We don't require any evidence in our reporting. Besides, Sondhi Lim told me so.

Democracy: So, you don't think the media should be out in the provinces documenting all this vote-buying?

Tulsie: Absolutely not. I am happy and comfortable in my air conditioned office in Bangkok. I dare not taint myself with the stench of the khon baan nok.

Democracy: So how do you know there is vote-buying and Thaksin is buying the votes?

Tulsie: Easy. I read the Manager, watch ASTV, and consult Thanong's astrologer.

Democracy: Do a free people have a right to petition their king?

Tulsie: Only if I can dicate the reason.

Democracy: If they don't agree with your reason?

Tulsie: They were paid by Thaksin.

Democracy: Do you believe that the press should report on crimes in society?

Tulsie: Only if it is Thaksin committing the crimes.

Democracy: So if the Democrat Party, the PAD, the military, the bureaucracy, provincial Godfathers and the police commit crimes, should that be reported on?

Tulsie: Don't you read my paper? Have you been listening to me? The answer is no. Thaksin is the only criminal in Thai society and if other people break the law to get Thaksin, that is fine by me. The end justifies the means.

Democracy: So if you had any evidence of somebody else other than Thaksin committing crimes in Thailand, what would you do?

Tulsie: Do what we always do. Do nothing and protect the pooyai.

Democracy: So if Thaksin disappeared from the face of the planet, what would you do?

Tulsie: Blame his ghost.

Democracy: Why?

Tulsie: Everybody else is pure. Thaksin is the source of all evil in the world, dead or alive.

Democracy: So when the military has a coup and overthrows the government...?

Tulsie: That is justified every time.

Democracy: But isn't a coup a bigger threat to democracy than Thaksin?

Tulsie: Never.

Democracy: Why?

Tulsie: The military thinks like me. Any criminal behavior that justifies getting Thaksin or protects our personal interests is not a crime.

Democracy: How Orwellian of you.

Tulsie: All Thais are equal, but some Thais are more equal than others.


Steve said...

ROFL - so painfully close to the reality.........

Lalida said...

5555! like this one and so very true...